If I could describe my mood torwards things happening in current events it would be this picture. A couple weeks ago, right before Valentines Day the rug was pulled from underneath me. I answered the door to a women holding a binder and well lets just say its been a roller coaster of emotions ever since.
In my heart I know I give 110% of my sleeping and waking hrs to my family, but this has been so much added stress to me. I have experienced the complete cycle of grief. I feel like my perspective has completely changed. The highest compliment anyone has ever given me was when I was told “I treat everyone like they are my best friend”. I regretfully have changed my perspective on humans and my walls are HIGH. I don’t need everyone to like me just a couple close friends.
I have been mad, upset, playing the blame game, whoa is me!
If you can’t tell by my super cheery blogpost this is why I have decided to “Lay Low” for a while. I have almost zero motivation to be on this space. I am just focusing on being the perfect mother because I learned the hard way there is no room for toddler errors (taking off shirts that get chocolate milk on them) and I have 4 of them so its hella (my first swear on my blog) busy.
I’m sure I’ll come back in full swing when things settle, or not. But right now I just want to be alone with my family. Doing whatever makes us happy, opinion free.
Today I woke up to a speech therapist sent by the government, my cleaning ladies and a wonderful email from a hotel chain that wants our family to pick a location so they can host a vacation for us. So some gems amongst the craziness.
Even though I was super upset about being accused of neglecting my one years olds speech, I have refocused some attention on more than just his motor skills. 4 xs a week we spend our mornings doing physical things like gymnastics and roller rinks. Starting tomorrow I’ve decided to start incorporating a music class in there and some library time.
I’ve decided this hasn’t been all terrible. And I shouldn’t be defensive. And to try to absorb as much information and try to block out all the negative. Geesh kinda heavy stuff right. And tbh this is a VERY watered down version.
BTW, how beautiful is this ballerina! I have all the feels when I watch this, it’s super powerful to me.