I’ve had my husband around the house as he took paternity leave and that has just been bliss. The other day we dropped the kids off at preschool and went up the mountains for an almost romantic brunch. We lost track of time and ended up going back down the mountain, picking them up, and headed back up, If for nothing I loved the scenery and just being together and brunch with all of us was actually really fun!
There is no better feeling than having a baby. There really isn’t! It is euphoric, there is nothing more powerful than giving life and meeting/holding your baby. The biggest high I have ever known. My body feels so good after, I feel like I am in a dream.
I never want to give up the feeling, which is why I have dropped a bomb on my husband telling him I am not done (for now anyways) having kids. I recently told him I have two more in me. So this has been interesting. He is trying to save me from myself and to help me see life beyond the baby stage. Shopping again, looking at new cars, taking me out, etc. Keeping me distracted and enjoying the present and looking to the future.
I even half joked that I could have kids for other people if we felt that our family was complete. I’m telling you these little babies are contagious!
I am confused at how I feel.
I go from thinking of what I can get my Dr. as a thank you for bringing my family here safely to the world. To then thinking of my next babie(s) names. The last day at the hospital we were finalizing the birth certificate and picking out a middle name for Brooklyn. We were debating between two and I was sure that we were going to use the second middle name for my next baby.
I came home that night unpacked my hospital bag and took my maternity clothes off their hangers. They are still in a pile in my closet as I have no idea what I am going to do with them. And then it hit me hard, what probably should have been a happy thought was a really sad one. “What if I never wear these again & am I ready to close this chapter?”
I avoid my closet, I mean nothing fits anyways. I can’t quite fit in my normal clothes, so I decided to shut my closet door and go shopping. I have appreciated getting out of the house as much as possible with my husbands help and enjoying everyday. I realize I don’t have to decide now, I will know what’s best for our family when the time is right. And to just enjoy my little package from heaven.
Although I do love to joke to my husband, mostly to see his reaction, when he says things like “wow I can’t believe how well you are recovering”. I always come back to him and say I am just gearing up for more 🙂