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32 Years Of Shannon

October 8, 2020 By Birdalamode Leave a Comment

It’s been a minute since I’ve been on here, tbh I never thought I’d come back. I’ve been coping from how I was treated after my very public 911 call and all the aftershocks that have come because of it.

I came up with all these reasons why leaving this space and all things birdalamode would be best for me, but at the end of the day there was always more reasons to stay. I contemplated about drowning out and killing off this part of me. And how much better everyone would be if I just went away. So I let it die. In a way part of me is still very much dead inside. You can say the worst things to my face, behind my back, through your fingertips you can run my name, It says more about you then it ever will about me, I am very much so un-phased.

I am happy to be here. I am showing up. I am present. So present that I know when and where to be and who and what is worth my energy.

Today I choose my blog. Hello! Long time no see. This may all fall on closed ears. But I am writing this for me.

I am Shannon B. I am important I am worth loving. I have so much to give. I have birthed, bled and cried in front of all of you and all I ask in return is kindness. Even if that means you just leave.

Gosh it feels good to finally express this.

The day I turned 32 I was sitting in the carpool line and noticed I had a grey hair. I have never been afraid of age, in-fact, I have always loved my birthday. But this one hit differently, solemnly. I realized right then and there I earned this and I am welcoming this new me.

I  got a sitter and did all the fun maintenance things, spray tan, hair coloring, nails, etc. And then I asked Dallin to take me shopping. I have recently gotten rid of all things maternity and my wardrobe is lacking to say the least.

So we hit up the mall and filled in all the gaps and I started to feel like me again. For years I’ve fantasized about being this person. Clothes that will fit me longer than 3 months, it doesn’t even matter if they are breastfeeding friendly or stretchy.

I have been more to myself more focused on me and my family just trying to eliminate noise.

It’s been a very inward time for me.

I am so thankful that I have taken this time off the web.

Filed Under: birthday

On The Day You Were Born

December 13, 2019 By Birdalamode 1 Comment

To think, a week ago I was just as pregnant as can be (39 weeks 4 days, but who was counting lol) and now I’m holding my one week young baby!

December 1st: To induce ? Ultrasound screen shows she’s posterior, faceup, living her best life. Meanwhile mom (me) is freaking out about the high possibility of c-section, mostly trying to figure out how I would be able to recover from one with all my other children plus caring for a newborn.

The nurse informed us if they were to induce there would be a very high chance baby would have to be suctioned out or I would need a c-section. She also said I probably wasn’t dialating since its her soft forehead sitting on my cervix vs the back of the head.

We decided to let her cook some more, even though I wanted to meet her so badly. I left very discouraged. Dallin informed me no ones been pregnant for forever and she’ll come when and how she’s supposed too. It sounded nice, but I was still irritated.

December 3rd: at my Dr’s appointment, I had great news I had dialated to just about a 4! I was instructed to head right into the hospital if my water broke or when my contractions came 3-5 mins apart.

December 4th: Holland gets the stomach bug and barfed on every bed and on the couch. We’re in a mess again. We all had it just 4 days prior. -baby don’t come yet!

December 5th: rest, Holland Brooklyn and I slept all day

December 6th: I woke up with an agenda, and a huge rush of energy. Everyone was eating breakfast I start unloading the dishwasher when I started feeling pretty strong contractions. I start timing. Hudson says he has a feeling today’s the day. I keep cleaning.

I looked up when I heard a box of cereal fall out of Brooklyns arms and all down the stairs. I heard the sweetest “sorry mommy” and the both of us picked up every piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, all while I felt the contractions a little more stronger.

Laundry was next. I had washed all the bedding and just needed to make the beds. Dallin walks in the door and he asks if I’m alright, he can see I’m having frequent contractions. I asked him to help me start making beds. I’ve never felt a sense of urgency to clean like I was experiencing. Contractions coming in closer and stronger. We were making the last bed when a huge gush of “show” appeared, and then I knew it was time to go in.

*show:if you know, you know

My mom came over and she noted how quiet and calm I was. This is how I get before a major event.  I was nervous about the birth (is she still posterior?), the health of my baby (did breastfeeding affect anything?), oh! and my dr. was out of town.

I went from 6cm to 10cm in under a min. My dr’s son, also an OBGYN, did a beautiful job and delivered little London safely into this world. Dallin filmed the entire beautiful spiritual event, It’s now a highlight on my story. (see here)

I couldn’t be more thankful for the safe arrival and beautiful daughter I got to bring into our family.  We are obsessed with her. Eyes are round, hair so chocolatly and thick, topped with the pinkest pillowy cheeks and chins. (see here)

Filed Under: birthday, kids, London, Posts, pregnancy

Happy Birthday Hudson

August 26, 2019 By Birdalamode Leave a Comment

Hudsons growing up to be such a sweet boy. I love him so much. One of my favorite things about him is how he is not embarrassed of me. He told me the other day to see if there was a lunch lady job opening at his school bc he’d love to see me at lunch. 🙂

We are currently trying to plan a trip for our anniversary (just Dallin and I) and he keeps trying to weasel himself into the trip. And every time we are alone (just Hudson and I) he tries to convince me that I should just bring him or stay back with him 🙂

When Dallin was in NY a couple weeks ago he told me to drop the kids off at my moms and to come out and meet him. We went to my moms and Hudson held my hand and kept an eye on me making sure I wasn’t going to leave him. I didn’t, I stayed.

He is so tender-hearted and hates being separated from me and I love him for it. I know he’s not always going to be this way, but maybe he will be and that’s totally ok.

Hudson still! really! wants a puppy. One day Hudsy, one day. I promise.

 

Filed Under: birthday, Posts

Brooklyn Turns 2!

April 22, 2019 By Birdalamode Leave a Comment

Wishing my sweet Brooklyn the happiest of birthdays. He’s made me so happy. I love his spirit!

Filed Under: birthday

Birthday Skates

September 17, 2018 By Birdalamode Leave a Comment

adult white and pink skates (amazon) / baby pink baseball tee (amazon) / white pram (mima) / hollands skates (amazon) / overalls (similar)  / knee high socks (amazon)

Filed Under: birthday

All Hail The Bday Queen

September 17, 2018 By Birdalamode Leave a Comment

 my robe (victoria secret)

All Hail the Bday Queen!

My family made me feel so special!

We had french toast for breakfast made by Briton, went to the lake to open presents and cards, and then went to hibachi with the whole family for dinner. It was perfect!

Filed Under: birthday, Family, Home, kids, LIFESTYLE, Posts

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Shannon Bird

Shannon Bird

Welcome to my little corner on the web. Sharing my most prized possession, my family.

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