Today I did things I no longer do as a mother, but something I used to always do as a young mother. I packed up the kids during a snow storm and headed to the mall. But before I did that, I loaded up my stroller (lately I usually only bust that out on vacations or runs). As I unloaded my children from the van into their stroller and walked in the mall. I had flashbacks of the old me. The younger, eager mother I once was. I had just had Briton when I got this little seat attachment. I was excited, I had three kids, all under the age of three. And I knew I was going to get pregnant again soon, or at least I had hoped I would.
Fast-forward 4 years, my oldest is now 7! I have had my 4th child who is approaching his second birthday this spring. I am not as eager for the future because the future means babies growing up instead of meeting new ones.
I sat in my car after our mall experience, listened to their lullabies and looked at my rearview mirror at all of their eyelashes fluttering off to sleep. I cried! And I don’t cry. At least anymore.
Lately, I have put guards up, I’ve felt defensive, confused, and maybe like I need to move on from Birdalamode.com and put this chapter to bed. But tonight I felt close to the young mother I used to be just a few years prior and I remembered what Birdalamode.com stood for, stands for and why I love it with all my heart.
You see Birdalamode.com documented the best years of my life. I met my children on here. I discovered who I was , who my friends are , and the importance of family. I have made income, friends, and mistakes. But its life. To me Birdalamode.com is a living thing. There is a person, a family, a story, history behind this platform. And I want it part of my life forever in one way or another.
Recently I have said goodbye to a HUGE chapter in my life, breastfeeding and my hormones have made me super sensitive, in a positive way. I went through an excited moment and now I just feel overly grateful for what I have and created as I watch them sleep. Whether I bear more children or if that is now a phase of life behind me I will always hold on to the young mother I was and I will always cherish those babies and the young girl who shaped me into the person I am today.
Hudson has chosen to be baptised as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This year we will be preparing and getting ready for his big day which we just found out today is September 7th 2019!
I can’t believe my baby is so grown up and making big decisions in his life already.
Way to go Hudson! May I be more like you when I grow up!
Love forever Mom
UNO more night : make it reign
Game 🎾 Set, Match ✅
Today we had the opportunity to give a family Christmas who may not have had one otherwise. Today I had list a mile long I needed to do for my own families Christmas and to start packing, and get my room mothering material all together for Wednesday etc I had a million excuses why it might not work out and then it hit me. These are people, children that need me. We got their clothes at TJ Maxx and their toys at Walmart and we were able to do all their shopping and delivered their presents in one day.
We had the opportunity to meet the family, some years we get to some years just the parent(s). Three of the children were still awake when we showed up and their mother and them had made us a Christmas card. It was so tender and so sweet.
I know my children and I will always remember this. They are the ones that brought all the presents in to them and did all the shopping with us. It was such a sweet night/day to go into a store(s) and have them think of others and not a single one of them asked for anything, and thats never happened.
The spirit of Christmas was STRONG! I never want this feeling to go away.
red moon boot ( 
