Last Sunday we found a beautiful secret meadow , complete with a fairy garden. Upon posting on insta-stories every Utah photographer asked for the location. No one asked to take our family portrait for trade, so I guess it’ll just have to keep secret meadow a secret 🙂
In honor of my Anniversary month and because I did bring this up in my instagram stories, I thought this was a safe and appropriate place to dive deeper into the intimacy ring I brought up.
My wedding date is a week away and I need to go to my premarital appointment. I am in college and on school insurance. So I go to the health clinic on campus. I ask my sisters advice and she told me to definitely bring both my mom and Dallin. I regret that very much. No I am kidding, but boy it was uncomfortable. I had decided to go with the copper IUD, which ended up being a very bad decision. But I don’t want to get into that on this post* (see below)
After IUD insertion, the Dr. gave Dallin a lecture, in front of me and my mother on how he needs to be gentle with me, he told her He was from NJ and has read cosmo since he was little so not to worry. Which oddly I think made all of us more worried 🙂
I was then given a brown paper sack with lots of clear dilators of different sizes. <Use your imagination, think turkey basters> I was sent home with these with clear instructions on how to use them. Warm bath and work myself up to the biggest before my wedding night.
I was traumatized by all of it. Unbenounced to Dallin, I threw that brown paper sack away. There was no way I was going to do that to myself. I didn’t tell Dallin because I would later use this as ammo/a teaser ie if I didn’t answer my phone right away I’d say I was using them (which I was not just a fun inside joke bc that’s what I do best)
I want to make it very clear that I have nothing bad to say about receiving these tools and I am thankful that women are being thought of. It was just something I was not into. And this is where my research began. I went to Target and found a ring. Something that both my husband and I could do together to get me to feel more comfortable in what could be an uncomfortable situation. I am so glad that this was the way I went about it. And we had zero complications. Thank heavens. Even works great in water <think turbo jet > Water isn’t my personal favorite or best lubricant but this little device is fun and makes water a whole new experience.
I hope this wasn’t too much. I just would love women to know about it, new moms and young brides especially, and if you are non of these women, its ok neither am I, It’s still fun to try new things.
Fast Forward to after childbirth I haven’t had to use in years, but decided I needed to get another ring for my 1st intimate encounter postpartum. I felt healed and ready physically to engage in intimacy but went with the ring just to take the nerves away and edge off.
I have continued to use after every childbirth, and highly recommend for when you’re ready this device is a great reminder that your body is fun again!
*(long story short my body rejected the copper IUD, cramped so hard, and it fell out 3xs!) do not recommend!
Before I get ahead of myself, Happy Birthday to me! But seriously I am so grateful for this year of growth. I have slowed down. Been kinder to myself. And only have given attention to those deserving of it. Which surprisingly is a lot less people than you would think.
I really don’t know why people mourn their 20’s because so far my 30’s are turning out more fulfilling and fun than I ever could of imagined. 30 is wonderful! and I don’t need an audience or approval from anyone to tell me otherwise. I think in your 20’s you spend a lot of time proving yourself and in your 30’s you can finally just be yourself. At least that’s how its been for me.
So HI! I don’t know if you come on blogs anymore, because I haven’t in a while. But I feel like this is the only safe space on the internet these days. No one is shadowbanning this? Right? It’s been a crazy ride. These past 2 years, I’ve been more guarded in what I’ve chosen to share mainstream.
In the meantime I’ve gotten older, I’ve been watching my children develop into beautiful people with friends, talents and dreams of their of own. It’s my source of happiness.
I started this blog when my motherhood journey began. Having 5 children, 6 pregnancies in 8 years was a very hard thing on me in every way, especially with a very small support system. I think I found a community here. So thanks for letting me have a place to vent and share. And for those of you who have ever reached out, or encouraged me in my motherhood journey from the bottom of my heart thank you.
If I do hop on social media, its Instagram, but oh my word it’s gone Tik Tok. I hardly recognize it anymore. Middle aged women lip syncing and dancing to all the same songs its a full blown rat race. I realized its sometimes fun to dabble in but over all not for me.
So where does this leave me? I couldn’t be in a more content mind set. I am no longer clawing at this social media game. I am now enjoying the friendships and family that I have made. The future is bright.
So today I am coming on here for me. To tell you all thank you for supporting me throughout the years. I am so excited to see what the future holds.
Quick Life Update:
For my birthday I asked for a girls trip, I’ve never ever taken one so I am excitingly getting ready for that.
Which means I am also trying to wean my last baby london from breastfeeding.
When I am back I need to get an oblation. Its been debilitating. I can’t carry heavy objects. The other night I picked up London and Dallin had to help wipe bl__d that was dripping down my legs and all over the floor. I cannot work out in public anymore. And there are several weeks I have had to leave church to change my clothes. I may have to ask to be released from my calling.
I am still not 100% thrilled about being done with having kids. But my body is telling me otherwise.
I am excited thinking about getting new set lol that is if I ever stop nursing. I do wonder what they’ll be like once I’m done done.
I am dying to get back to Disneyland London’s never been. But has an obsession with Mickey. She watches Cocomellon so It’s funny that she even knows who he is. The other day we were driving past the halloween store and there was a Mickey Mouse costume in the window and she was screaming Mickey Mickey like she was at Disney. (use this link for extra savings for Disney)
I am in the middle of remodeling Hollands bedroom. She wants her and London to have a sister bedroom.
My kids are growing up 4 kids are in school, and boy are they busy! 3 are in soccer (Hudsons is a comp team) 2 are in flag football Holland does comp cheer and gymnastics so I will get on here whenever I have something fun to share with you.
Dream Seekers are mystical, magical friends who are here to share their dreams and inspire you to follow yours.
Holland is a wish maker and goal setter, she has always been the girl that writes down her goals. Before Dream Seekers she would write down her goals behind her poster in her closet. But now she has a special safe spot for them in the Dream Seekers box. Upon opening up one of your mystical friends, there is a special place where you write down your dreams. This spot is meant to hold them and give you the courage to make your dreams come true.
Dream Seekers is a range of three beautifully crafted soft dolls with their own unique personalities. Luna, Hope and Bella are here to share their dreams and inspire you to follow your own. I see a little bit of Holland in each one of the dolls.
Bella is an animal lover and her dream is that all animals will be treated with love and kindness. Her outfit is kitty inspired and practical paired with fun sneakers. Hope reminds me of Holland because they both have such bright and carefree personalities and style.
Luna (my favorite) is a dancer and although Holland doesn’t dance, she does cheer and gymnastics. I love that both Luna and Holland don’t stop until they have reached their dream!
Stella has secret magic inside of her in that her wings change colors to show off her five superpowers positivity, caring, happiness, courage and calmness.
I like and appreciate that the dolls are wholesome, timeless, and inspiring. They aren’t trying to inspire my child to grow up too soon but instead they are helping her achieve her dreams. If Dreams Seekers were friends they are the exact role models you would want for your child.
Something fun we learned about the Dream Seeker Dolls while we were playing with them is that they have long arms and legs that are fun to arrange and really add to dramatic play. We also noticed that on every Dream Seeker’s wrist were these fun unique marks called their “Dream Mark”. They represent the doll’s personality and the dream that they seek!
It’s been so enjoyable watching Holland play with her new Dream Seekers Dolls. Take a peek at the last pic. Did you notice anything new? Her Stella Doll came with fun hair clips for both her and her Dream Seeker doll to share. These dolls really are so pretty and enchanting. Even her baby sister has been in on the fun. Her reaction to the dolls is “wow” and she has to have one with her everywhere we go.
These dolls have been such a hit at our house that this past weekend Holland was invited to a birthday party and when we were picking out a present for her best friend she automatically said without hesitation that she was going to get her a Dream Seeker Doll so that she too could have a best friend to share her dreams with too .